Changing..

Lately I've been looking at my life and finding myself amazed at how different I am than even a few months ago. It's pretty intriguing how stress can change the person you are and the outlook you have on life and relationships.

So I'm reluctantly about to start my new project, or month-late new year's resolution. Sobriety. Ugh, no fun. But the fact is that when I start drinking, it's hard for me to stop, and until I can control that I have to just give it up for awhile. I just need to start concentrating on the alternative: finding a fricken job. My job at Disney is not going to cut it forever, and the longer I stay the longer I will fall down the rabbit hole and away from the knowledge I gained in college. Not to mention, I can't afford the brain cells I am killing off anymore. I'm 24, time to grow up in that sense.

So I never realized that people were actually reading my blog until after my last post. Suddenly I have people relating to me, and as much as I'm a little embarrassed (especially for bringing up what was my lack of a sex life), I think it's kind of nice they care. If there is one thing that's for sure about me, it's that I will always listen to other people's problems. But I never expect them to listen back.

There is a strange balance of pessimism and optimism going on in my head at all times.