Circles

The moment you start feeling sorry for yourself, quit it. This is the most wasteful thing you could possibly do with your time.

Something that's been on my mind lately. Simple, but big.

Also, look at this picture and don't smile. Can't do it can ya?

Fighting for Stuff that Doesn't Matter

I am a stubborn person by nature. I don't know where I got it, being that my dad is the timid passive aggressive type and my mother is a bit of a people pleaser. But somewhere in my timeline I decided that I needed to stand up for and argue anything I didn't agree with- and this is in all areas of life: be it a differing viewpoint my friend has, a "love interest" not acting how I wish he would, or the management team at work not paying the attention that I strongly believe they should.

Unfortunately, I have found that this tactic is not quite working for me, being that the way I address these issues is in kind of a "hit and run" style. I recently had a horrifying realization, which was crap, I'm a total commitment phob. I never realized that it could be a problem of mine, seeing as I totally gender-stereotyped the shit out of that concept and thought it was a problem only men, or boys had. But really, I'm scared $*@#less of confining myself to any one thing for too long.

With dating, I do the same thing every time. I find the first thing that I wish they would do differently, then analyze it to death until I convince myself it means they are no good and basically tell them to hit the road in one way or the other. Then I of course blame them for acting like an ass about it.

Then my job...oh the joys of being 25 and having very little idea in which direction you want to set forth. The thing with working at Disney World, when one thing doesn't work out, you can leave and try somewhere else. But I'm always starting over, just like with so many other things in life.

So here I am, subconsciously fighting against everything that leads to that "white picket fence" type of life everyone seems to hope they have by my age, and having mixed feelings about what I should do about it. But what I mostly wonder, is are those people really any happier? Or do they just have a different set of worries from day to day?

Maybe I just haven't had my real adventure yet. And until then, I won't be able to commit to anything.

Women...think?

So with all this hype about candidates' wives being called out for never working a day in their lives, or choosing to be mothers, or even choosing to work on this instead of that, it has me thinking. Again, I guess one of the most fascinating topics for me is the difference between girls and guys and what makes them tick the way that they do.

For centuries, women have been looked at as man's companion and it was set upon men to do the thinking for the pair. And then came along Gloria Steinem and the whole world was turned upside down. OK, maybe it wasn't quite that simple. But progressively through more recent years women have decided more and more to start thinking and acting independently to men. And we come to today. Would you call it evolution? Would you call it a radical and important change? Would you say it's against nature?

I'm sure most women's first instinct is to say damn right, I think for myself and don't let a stupid man influence my life decisions. We, of course, are partly lying to ourselves because we are hard wired to want some kind of man in our life. Stable boyfriend, best friend, sex friend. It's just not as cut and dry as it used to be; we don't need to have our family started by the time we are 19 anymore.

Here's what I think. I think that certain hardwired gender traits too often stop a person from being the best that they can be. Look at men and their natural need to spread their seed. Gets them in soo much trouble that billions of dollars are made on bad reality and talk shows that are evolved around this one single indubitable fact. How many men with some of the most powerful positions in America have come crashing down so they could get a blow job or have crazy forbidden sex with that average looking reporter. Does it happen to women? Yes. But not a whole lot.

And then women. And they're thinking. What happened to the good old days when women didn't get all feminist and political about everything? Truth is, women have always been this way, they just used to think about these things a lot more to themselves. And the damning gender trait for women? They are not just over thinking, they are over feeling. And the more time they have to think about something, the more it becomes a sensitive matter until the emotions have overcome the logical thinking that she is still holding on to in the back of her head. Oh, she'll realize it later. But the emotions will come into play before she can stop herself. This equates to what appears to others as a lack of self confidence, and I think most people know how important that is in our world.

I think it's definitely safe to say the role of men and women have changed drastically over just the past 60 years and everyone's finding the best way they know how to function in a world with less but more rules.