Fear of the Unknown

An interesting but surprisingly obvious fact of life came across to me very clearly today. It started with a conversation with a female co-worker who said she felt that she'd rather go to a male manager with an issue than a female manager. This was how she felt, even when she herself went to school for management. She believes that because she is small and looks younger, people are less likely to respond to her as a superior. Standing in similar shoes, I had to somewhat agree with her.

So then I got to thinking about how I've always sort of felt that men had it a bit easier than women when it came to a lot of things. Men are simply looked upon more as leaders than women are. This is how I always justified taking the free drinks at bars, reminding myself that this was the place I, as a woman, would have the upper hand. Stupid as shit, I know.

OK, so men are looked at as more authoritative figures, but why? If you ask a man that, I'd bet you a shiny penny he will say "because women let emotions get in the way of their logical thinking".

But here's what they don't get: men don't understand why women are acting the way they are...in fact, they are almost completely clueless. So they boil it down to one word: crazy. HOWEVER. Men don't realize that they too are irrationally acting out for absurd reasons: be it pride, fear, or those ridiculously strong chemicals that drive their hormones. And us women see clear as day exactly what is causing a man's actions.

So how is it that when it is just our nature that we know more about men than they know about us, they still have some sort of authority over us?

It's because it is exactly this that is our downfall. We can accept because we understand, they cannot because they don't.

And the fear of the unknown drives them to always keep it this way.

Something to think about anyway. And for the sake of argument, assume we are talking in generalizations. There are always exceptions.

On a lighter note, I giggled and also shuttered at the terrible truth of this quote from Sunday's episode of True Blood:

"Vampires have often found it advantageous to maintain a hidden presence in humanity’s most powerful institutions. In the 1600s, it was the Catholic church, and today, as you all know, it’s Google, Fox News."

Frustrated

These past few weeks I have been extremely frustrated with life. Do you ever get to that point where just nothing is going forward in any department of your life...work, friends, family, love? I try so hard not to be extremely down sometimes, but when major events...or even, lack of events, happen in all four of those areas, singing in the shower seems to be less appealing.

I suppose I haven't written in almost a month because I feel sometimes that there is so much that I don't want anyone to know about my life...and it makes me wonder what that means about me. I have always thought of myself as a good person, maybe a little quick tempered to peoples' insensitivity, but otherwise a good person and a good friend. I can't lie, which has done me more harm than good, I don't steal, and I don't cheat. But I have still found ways to get myself into trouble...dumb mistakes from the ages of 18-22 that I am still living down today and trying to rebuild my life from.

I spent last week moving to a new area in Disney- a position that I was told by casting was at the Yacht and Beach resort working front desk, but was in fact a horribly depressing job at the Swan and Dolphin. As a result of casting's huge failure to recognize their cast members as human beings, I returned to my old area, a step backward to what I thought was a step forward in my career. If I can even call it that. My only plan now is to start working towards a master's degree, which should be pretty cheap considering Disney should pay for some of the credits, and I should get funding for the rest.

It's just that I've developed such a horrible case of Popcorn Brain- the minute I discovered what this was I KNEW I was majorly suffering from it. Basically, I have allowed myself to become a victim of technology and the media. My iPhone is my best friend and my biggest enemy. Our brains need periods of relaxation, but instead of being able to take our downtime we are constantly scrolling through texts, emails, facebook, etc. This constant stimulation has us addicted...and we find ourselves drawn away from the really important things: exercise, more direct social interaction, bettering your life and career, etc. The name of this condition does not convey the severity...or the reality of it all.

I ironically have tried to search...online...for how to "cope" with this...and the only real suggestions are to limit your computer/television usage to a certain amount of time a day and to have real social interactions rather than ones through messaging and facebook. I am taking the first step, I'm admitting my addiction! Please tell me I won't need a sponsor and the whole works to break this one.