Frustrated

These past few weeks I have been extremely frustrated with life. Do you ever get to that point where just nothing is going forward in any department of your life...work, friends, family, love? I try so hard not to be extremely down sometimes, but when major events...or even, lack of events, happen in all four of those areas, singing in the shower seems to be less appealing.

I suppose I haven't written in almost a month because I feel sometimes that there is so much that I don't want anyone to know about my life...and it makes me wonder what that means about me. I have always thought of myself as a good person, maybe a little quick tempered to peoples' insensitivity, but otherwise a good person and a good friend. I can't lie, which has done me more harm than good, I don't steal, and I don't cheat. But I have still found ways to get myself into trouble...dumb mistakes from the ages of 18-22 that I am still living down today and trying to rebuild my life from.

I spent last week moving to a new area in Disney- a position that I was told by casting was at the Yacht and Beach resort working front desk, but was in fact a horribly depressing job at the Swan and Dolphin. As a result of casting's huge failure to recognize their cast members as human beings, I returned to my old area, a step backward to what I thought was a step forward in my career. If I can even call it that. My only plan now is to start working towards a master's degree, which should be pretty cheap considering Disney should pay for some of the credits, and I should get funding for the rest.

It's just that I've developed such a horrible case of Popcorn Brain- the minute I discovered what this was I KNEW I was majorly suffering from it. Basically, I have allowed myself to become a victim of technology and the media. My iPhone is my best friend and my biggest enemy. Our brains need periods of relaxation, but instead of being able to take our downtime we are constantly scrolling through texts, emails, facebook, etc. This constant stimulation has us addicted...and we find ourselves drawn away from the really important things: exercise, more direct social interaction, bettering your life and career, etc. The name of this condition does not convey the severity...or the reality of it all.

I ironically have tried to search...online...for how to "cope" with this...and the only real suggestions are to limit your computer/television usage to a certain amount of time a day and to have real social interactions rather than ones through messaging and facebook. I am taking the first step, I'm admitting my addiction! Please tell me I won't need a sponsor and the whole works to break this one.