OK I'm putting that last project on hold, partly because it is boring and there are more important things at stake.
It's the season of love, which I thought was supposed to be spring, but nevermind. Everyone around me is finding themselves in new romantic entanglements, including shockingly, myself. And I swear the bastard in the last post I mentioned sensed my happiness as a target to destroy, because I also found myself more badly hurt than I thought I could be by this particular relationship. Mostly because it wasn't a relationship at all. I guess I'm just always still surprised on how badly a person can treat another person.
Only problem? It's causing me to be more cautious than I even want to be with this new guy who is surprisingly sweet and masculine and honest all at the same time. But of course I do the usual and my mind is racing picking out reasons why it won't work. And the walls for me haven't come down just yet but we will see.
So my new project? With a little guidance from Eckhart Tolle, reaching some sort of non bullshit enlightenment about life.
First major hurdle: get out of your mind. Almost all people let their minds control them:
Identification with your mind creates an opaque screen of concepts, labels, images, words, judgments, and definitions that blocks all true relationship. It comes between you and yourself, between you and your fellow man and woman, between you and nature, between you and God.
So the first step? Start watching the thinker in your head, separate yourself from it. Listen to it without judgment, pay attention to repetitive thoughts, and soon you'll find yourself separating from the disease that is over thinking.
This is going to take a lot of work.
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