Big Dark Lies

So I haven't been posting lately, but something tells me I will have a lot more time on my hands now. And that something is that I've officially broken up with my boyfriend.

My dating history is, to say the least, a mess. I always end up with guys who lie a ridiculous amount. Edwin wasn't a complete liar like them, but our relationship has ironically ended because of a lie. One really big lie. Let me give you a little idea of how serious I am when I say I've dated liars.

First, there was Derek. My High School boyfriend. Derek was a pathological liar, about all kinds of stuff. He would tell stories so far fetched that I had to know they weren't true, but I was so obsessed I tried to tell myself I could make him a better person. Derek did a lot of shitty things to me, but it was all about him. I just needed to get out. And after way too much pain, I did.

But then came Adam, an even worse liar. I didn't know a thing about this person, because everything he told me was not true. He went as far as to tell me that he went to college, when I learned later he had actually been in prison. I LIVED with this man. We broke up when I found out he was trying to get with my friends.

Then there was Aaron, a long distance relationship that is the one time I can honestly say I acted as somewhat of a gold digger. He took me places, paid for everything. I tried to believe it was a real relationship, but I knew he wasn't really any good. Learned after our 8 month thing ended that he had another girlfriend at home. Wonder what he told her every weekend he came up?

Then came Mike. Mike was a good guy for the most part, and I really liked him. Unfortunately, I later learned he was addicted to pain medication and he needed time alone to deal with it. Bye bye Mike.

And then Chad. A complete piece of trash. Cheated on me, lied to me, and worse things I don't want to mention. Ended up forcing me to drive his company car home drunk one night because he wanted to help out some girls he'd just met that night and wanted to get with (she was 17). I got a DUI. He still tried to get with the girl.

So why did I stay in all these things? Because they just lied so damn well. They really made me believe that I meant so much to them. And I hate to say it, but I have always purposely dated out of my league, because I've always felt after Derek that I needed to be loved more than I loved them. How else would it work?

And then I moved to Florida and finally thought I'd found someone real. We were friends for almost six months before we actually started dating, and I dated him because I thought finally, I'd met a good guy. 9 months later, I was starting to think he might be the one, finally. After the big fuck-up relationships and the smaller dating failures.

And after all my skepticism about everything I knew Edwin wouldn't do like the others, something came out of nowhere that was an instant deal breaker. After over a year, Edwin failed to tell me that he and his family are Jehovah's Witnesses.

"So you're telling me that you've been stringing me along, letting us get this serious, and you never told me something like that? That if we have kids, they can't celebrate Christmas or their birthdays? That you and your family have let their lives become conformed around a religion written by bitter conservatives only 100 years ago? When were you going to tell me?"

"I was too terrified, it was selfish, I know."

And what else can he say. My relationship that I thought might be forever has turned to non existent in one morning, after seeing a fucking refrigerator magnet.